Day #3 - Stress Recovery - The Day of Extremely Hard Work
I may not have gone to work at my full time job today, but it was still a day of work. Work. WORK.
I’m on week 3 of Re-Generation. You may have heard of it when it had an old name, Celebrate Recovery. I know nothing about why they changed the name, but to help you understand a little bit about what it is, it’s where people go through a 12 Step Program of recovery from things like alcoholism, abuse, drug use, etc. but with the added perspective of finding your value in Christ.
“My Name is Carol Beth Scott & I have a new life in Christ. I’m recovering from ______________.”
So far, I know I’m recovering from severe co-dependence. I’m sure I will have more. I’m only on week 3 & I’ll absolutely be open about those, too. I’m such a mess…. which is why I’m going & why I couldn’t stop even as I’m taking deep breaths and calming down for these two weeks. I know I need God’s help to continue my healing journey.
It’s rough, coming to terms with the last pieces of my recovery from a life of sustained abuse and toxic choices. Being raised by a mother who regretted me and required me to perform while she consistently gaslighted me… it’s rough. But I’m determined.
I’ll be in Groundwork for quite some time & I’ve already been deeply affected. Imagine what it will be like a year from now. I’m incredibly grateful for God speaking into my life. Loudly.
We set up David’s puzzle table & he’ll start on this puzzle tomorrow. He’s still doing his 24 hour shifts during these two weeks, but when he’s home he’s a tremendous example of relax and recovery for me, who is NOT great at it.
During group time tonight, my fellow attendees were often struggling with motivation and procrastination. I’m over here struggling to rest and recover. I’m such an oddball.
The majority of my day was characterized by being proud of my children. I didn’t catch a photo of Noah or Joshua, as they both went about their days away from me, for the most part. But Hannah sat to my right as I did my Groundwork and she did her schoolwork. She’s my ray of sunshine & I can’t believe she’s about to graduate.
We’re in a current spending freeze, because I own a travel agency which is obviously not making any money right now (costs me money, because overhead, but no money coming in) and she has stepped up to pay for her last writing class and her summer musical. She’s doing a writing about literature class and she’s auditioning for A Chorus Line. She does all this while also giving above and beyond her tithe to Compassion International, striving for straight A’s, working at Chick Fil A, sharing the gospel, volunteering at church, working on her own personal growth, investing in relationships. My goodness. She would have blown me away at 17 years old. She’s amazing.
Finally, today my new sunglasses came in. As I pushed them up and accidentally caught my ever-present bangs by accident, I took this self-deprecating shot, then we took a vote. Is my forehead really a 5-head, 6-head or 7-head? I vote 7! Noah said “but Dad is an 11” - our kids always make us feel SO GOOD about ourselves, right?
I’m ready for less work and more recovery tomorrow….. which is saying something. And can I tell you, I have slept a LOT? Some of my stress could simply be from lack of sleep. Time will tell!
